How to tell if you’re ready for a divorce

For some people, getting a divorce is the worst trial of their lives, full of heartbreak and resentment. For others, finally ending an unhappy marriage can be a relief and a promise of a new start. However, getting a divorce is never easy for Riverside County residents, no matter what their circumstances are. Since California is a no-fault state, spouses don't have to prove their reasons for wanting a divorce, but the process itself can be lengthy and complicated, especially if issues such as child custody and property division are contested.

For this reason, many people choose to stay in a miserable marriage for years, rather than face the conflict of a divorce; or they might think that staying together is best for the kids. However, children know when their parents are unhappy, and it can be hard for them to grow up in a house where there's tension and frequent arguing. Couples may be wondering if their marital issues can be worked out, or if they're better off getting a divorce.

Issues That Can Signal An Impending Divorce

Some marital problems are obvious, and most people would suggest an immediate divorce. These would include domestic violence or infidelity. According to MSN, when one spouse has had an affair but refuses to do everything in his or her power to make amends, or to break off the extramarital relationship for good, the marriage is most likely doomed.

Other issues are less clear, but Health Central says if they're ongoing problems resulting in a great deal of conflict, the couple may be better off getting a divorce. These include:

  • No longer looking forward to spending time alone with your spouse, doing activities with friends or other family members instead.
  • Confiding your problems, hopes and dreams in someone other than your spouse.
  • Disagreeing on nearly everything and being unable to resolve conflict.
  • Feeling disrespected, ignored and unloved.
  • Constantly walking on eggshells to avoid upsetting the other person.
  • Spending more time fighting than having conversations or resolving arguments.

These are only a few in a long line of problems that can mean a marriage is coming to an end. The bottom line is, if things have not changed for the better in over a year, or if one spouse is actively refusing to get marriage counseling or commit to resolving problems, it may be better to move on.

When A Divorce Is Better For The Kids

It's usually very difficult for kids to endure their parents' divorce. They may be devastated or blame themselves for the conflict; or they can even be relieved that some of the fighting will end when their parents split. The Mayo Clinic says that it's especially important during this time to communicate openly and honestly with children during a divorce, and to constantly let them know they are cared about and loved. When divorced parents refrain from arguing and don't speak badly about each other in front of the kids, it can go a long way toward helping them adjust to their new lives with their parents in separate homes.

Getting Help From An Attorney

Whether you are still considering if a divorce is your best option, or if you've already decided to go through with it, it can help to speak with an experienced family law attorney to discuss your options.