A story perhaps more common in California than many may think, couples who disagree on the issue of having children may see their relationships suffering or ending. He said that he didn’t want kids before the marriage. She thought that she could change his mind after they were married and settled. Then they both went to work, earning high incomes. He never changed his mind and neither did she, which has resulted in tensions that lead to divorce filings.
Some authorities suggest that about 15 percent of divorce cases they see in their practice cite the decision to have or not have children as an issue in the marriage. Sometimes the reasons are economic, but often they are due to personal lifestyle decisions. Regardless of why a person in a marriage chooses to not to have kids, if their partner does not agree, there may be a higher chance that the marriage will not survive.
As many in California may know, the cost of raising a child in today’s society is high. In fact, a child born in 2011 will be expected to cost his or her parents $234,900 over their first 17 years. This amount does not include inflation that could raise that number even higher. With the recession affecting so many areas of California, coupled with the high costs of having kids, many in our state may choose not to become parents.
For couples that cannot agree on this important decision, there may be emotions to work past, such as guilt, anger or even resentment before a resolution is made. When those emotions cannot be overcome, the relationship suffers, often leading to divorce.
When couples find themselves facing a difficult emotional situation and are contemplating divorce, they may feel overwhelmed. In order to find the most favorable outcome possible, it may benefit these couples to seek the expertise of an experienced advocate. Having an objective party involved in the details of divorce may help to ease emotional strains.
Source: The Washington Post, “Divorce attorneys, therapists: Closing the deal on kids before marriage not always realistic,” Leanne Italie, Aug. 20, 2012