During a California divorce, two parents may be frustrated with each other and have little good to speak about the other party. Although the experience may be upsetting for either adult, a child may have an even harder time processing the divorce. He or she may not be mature enough to understand exactly what the divorce means and why it had to happen, which is why parents may benefit from paying extra attention to their kids’ needs when ending their marriage.
It isn’t helpful to lecture kids about relationships and friendships with advice born out of the hurt felt during a divorce. Even though a parent naturally may want to vent, a child cannot easily bear the parent’s stresses. Children in these situations often go to their friends for relief from the drama.
In addition, just because a newly divorced person brings a date home doesn’t mean the children will automatically accept him or her. In fact, children may actually rebel against the new love interest just to see whose side their parent is on. During this time, it is essential that parents spend quality time with their kids and reassure them that they come first.
Disappointment, anger, depression and sadness are all normal feelings for a child to confront during a divorce. After all, his or her home life may seem to be turned upside down. The goal of a California judge in these situations is to make sure that the child ends up in a custody situation that protects their well-being and will be in their best interests in the short and long-term.
Source: The Huffington Post, “12 Things Kids Think About Divorce But Are Too Afraid To Say“, Tara Kennedy-Kline, April 20, 2014