It is not terribly often that advice posts or encouragement go towards men who are divorcing or are embroiled in a child custody dispute. Perhaps it is because the stereotype of men being devoid of feelings or absent fathers gets played out more often than we think. It may also be because men are very proud and feel ashamed of asking for help, even when they know that emotional advice can be just as important as legal advice.
Nevertheless, men deal encounter emotional trauma in family law disputes just like women do. With that, this post will offer a few helpful tips for men to follow.
Don’t beat yourself up – Men typically want to fix things. Whether it is a kitchen sink, a light fixture or even sore feelings in a marriage, men feel fulfilled when they can fix something. When a marriage can’t be fixed, it is easy to get down on oneself. However, it doesn’t make sense to beat yourself up over situations you cannot control. Remember it takes two to make a marriage.
Don’t spend money on a bad marriage – In the same vein, it is not a good idea to continue to sink money into a bad marriage. If your spouse is perpetually unhappy (with the marriage or with you) trying to buy happiness is an exercise in futility. Depending on your situation, it may be better to cut your losses and move on.
Don’t be afraid to consult an attorney – There’s a reason why the old adage “the person who represents himself has a fool for a lawyer” still lives on today. You can benefit from consulting a person who is not emotionally invested in the marriage.