When your ex gets custody of the kids, you may think that your relationship with them is doomed. This can be very hard for parents who, thought they may have wanted to split up the marriage, still love their children and don’t want to see that relationship end. Fortunately, there are things that can be done to make sure the noncustodial parent stays involved.
First off, both parents should always strive to be kind and civil to each other around the children. This helps children feel comfortable. It can be hard, depending on the reason for the divorce, but parents need to put their kids first.
Next, the custodial parent should allow the non-custodial parent to spend time alone with the child and should even encourage it — as long as it’s allowed under the divorce agreement. This allows the parent and child to grow close without feeling like the other parent is always looking over their shoulders. They can have a more authentic relationship.
It’s also good for non-custodial parents to keep in touch with children, even when not seeing them in person. This can be done through letters, phone calls, email messages, text messages and more. In the modern era, more and more parents are turning to virtual communications, like talking on a webcam.
Finally, non-custodial parents can also be invited to things like graduations or birthday parties. If a big event is happening in the child’s life, the parent should be there for it.
Make sure you know exactly what the child custody arrangement allows in California and how you and your ex can both keep in touch with your kids.
Source: Divorce Magazine, “Here and Now: How to keep the noncustodial parent involved,” Nicholas Long and Rex Forehand, accessed July 06, 2016