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Fast. Fair. Thorough.

It’s time to talk to your ex about the holiday custody

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Oct 26, 2017 | Child Custody |

In a previous article, we’ve addressed how important it is for divorced parents to be on the same page when it comes to things like gift giving and Santa Claus.

However, nothing is going to create a more lasting — and wretched — memory of the holidays for your kids than the image of you and ex fighting about sharing custody on the big day.

This is not something you want to let go until the last minute. Here are the best ways to avoid power plays, drama and fireworks:

1. Look at your custody papers. It may spell out exactly who gets the kids for Christmas based on who had them for Thanksgiving or Halloween. If you can live with it and so can your ex, then you’re good to go. Whoever doesn’t actually have custody on Christmas (or whatever holiday you celebrate) can hold his or her celebration either a few days early or later.

2. Do you hate what the custody papers say and barely remember agreeing to it? Does your ex hate it as much as you do? If neither of you relishes the idea of trading the kids back and forth every other year, see if you can work out an agreement that will let you share the kids each year.

Here are some common agreements that parents use:

  • One parent gets custody Christmas Eve and drops the kids off at the other’s house at bedtime so that the other parent has them for Christmas Day.
  • You can split Christmas Day right down the middle — the spouse with official custody can start the morning with the kids and let the other spouse pick them up after lunch.
  • All the grownups — including extended family — put their hostilities in a box for a day or two and do all the normal family they used always do when they were married. This is great if there’s a lot of extended family members involved and the kids are afraid of losing those ties.

Ultimately, if you and the ex can’t agree and you really hate the order you have, you can seek an attorney’s help to ask for a custody modification. However, start early — there are a lot of people with similar issues — and remember the judge will decide on what’s best for your children, not you or your ex.

Source: Our Family Wizard, “Holidays, Parenting Time Trades, and Half-Days, Oh My!,” accessed Oct. 26, 2017

I’ve been served divorce papers that include false allegations: what do I do?

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Jun 6, 2025 | Domestic Violence

Receiving divorce papers is already overwhelming. When false allegations are part of the paperwork, the situation can feel even more difficult. It’s essential to stay calm and know how to address the issue. Here’s what to do if you receive divorce papers containing...

Do domestic partnerships affect divorce rights?

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Apr 14, 2025 | Divorce

Domestic partnerships offer many of the same rights and responsibilities as marriage, but they can complicate the divorce process. If you're ending a domestic partnership, your legal path may differ from that of a traditional divorce, especially in California....

Moore / Marsden calculations in California divorce

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Apr 10, 2025 | Divorce

In California, Moore/Marsden calculations determine how to divide property when one spouse’s separate property has contributed to the acquisition or improvement of community property. These calculations ensure a fair division of property in divorce cases, particularly...

How can you document SP for asset protection?

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Apr 3, 2025 | Family Law

When you're about to get married, it's important to think about how to protect your assets, including spousal support (SP) money. If you've received spousal support in the past or expect it during your marriage, you may worry about documenting its use—especially if...

What to expect during child support enforcement actions

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Mar 23, 2025 | Child Support

Child support represents the financial contributions a non-custodial parent makes towards their child's upbringing. It ensures a parent meets the child's basic needs, such as food, housing, and education. It also supports a child's wellbeing, especially when parents...

Can you reimburse expenses before child support orders take effect?

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Mar 17, 2025 | Child Support

After a separation, managing child-related expenses can become a challenging task, especially before any official child support orders take effect. Many parents wonder if they can reimburse child expenses during this interim period. Understanding your rights and...

Do mothers have more rights than fathers in custody cases?

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Mar 11, 2025 | Custody & Visitation

When it comes to custody cases, it is a common misconception that mothers have more rights than fathers. This often stems from historical trends and societal assumptions about parenting roles. Whether you are a mother concerned about maintaining your relationship with...

Why should you update your advanced directives during a divorce?

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Feb 28, 2025 | Divorce

Going through a divorce is challenging. One crucial aspect that often gets overlooked is updating your advanced directives. These legal documents play a vital role in ensuring others respect your wishes, even when you cannot speak for yourself. Protecting your...

Can you protect yourself and your children without a divorce?

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Feb 25, 2025 | Domestic Violence

Domestic violence creates a terrifying and dangerous situation. You may feel trapped, believing divorce is your only option for safety. The good news is that California law provides legal alternatives if your moral beliefs prevent you from getting a divorce. Let us...

What can California parents do if their child refuses to visit the other parent?

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Feb 14, 2025 | Child Custody

Dealing with a child who does not want to see their other parent can create stress for everyone involved. California courts expect parents to follow custody orders while being sensitive to their children's feelings. Parents can struggle to balance their legal...

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Recent Posts

  • I’ve been served divorce papers that include false allegations: what do I do?
  • Do domestic partnerships affect divorce rights?
  • Moore / Marsden calculations in California divorce
  • How can you document SP for asset protection?

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