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Borderline personality disorder and the abusive partner

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Oct 26, 2018 | Domestic Violence |

While nobody is certain, psychologists estimate that up to 60 percent of the abusers in domestic violence situations suffer from borderline personality disorder (BPD).

If you’re in a relationship with someone whose anger and rage seems potentially explosive, it’s important to recognize the signs of this deep-seated mental issue as early as possible. People with BPD frequently have the following characteristics:

  • A history of abuse as a child
  • Impulsive, even reckless, behavior
  • Intense mood swings
  • Unstable personal relationships
  • Hypersensitivity
  • A fear of abandonment
  • Rigid expectations of others
  • A tendency to verbally abuse others
  • Threatening behavior

In general, people with BPD often seem to have a hard time deciding what they think or feel about the other people in their lives. One minute, you may be up on a proverbial pedestal and the center of their whole world. The next, you may be devalued, criticized and blamed for everything that is going wrong in his or her world.

People with borderline personality disorder are the victims of a mental illness, but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t responsible for their violent actions toward other people. They are capable of controlling themselves, but some people with BPD resort to domestic violence to get their way or even punish an intimate partner for his or her real or perceived failings.

It’s important to understand that people with BPD aren’t going to change without a lot of help. They need intensive psychological treatment in order to learn to accept responsibility for their own lives and actions. If you recognize these symptoms in your spouse or partner, it may be time to take the necessary steps to protect yourself, especially if physical violence is already a factor.

An experienced attorney can help you obtain a temporary protective order and take the other necessary legal steps to start your recovery from family violence.

I’ve been served divorce papers that include false allegations: what do I do?

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Jun 6, 2025 | Domestic Violence

Receiving divorce papers is already overwhelming. When false allegations are part of the paperwork, the situation can feel even more difficult. It’s essential to stay calm and know how to address the issue. Here’s what to do if you receive divorce papers containing...

Do domestic partnerships affect divorce rights?

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Apr 14, 2025 | Divorce

Domestic partnerships offer many of the same rights and responsibilities as marriage, but they can complicate the divorce process. If you're ending a domestic partnership, your legal path may differ from that of a traditional divorce, especially in California....

Moore / Marsden calculations in California divorce

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Apr 10, 2025 | Divorce

In California, Moore/Marsden calculations determine how to divide property when one spouse’s separate property has contributed to the acquisition or improvement of community property. These calculations ensure a fair division of property in divorce cases, particularly...

How can you document SP for asset protection?

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Apr 3, 2025 | Family Law

When you're about to get married, it's important to think about how to protect your assets, including spousal support (SP) money. If you've received spousal support in the past or expect it during your marriage, you may worry about documenting its use—especially if...

What to expect during child support enforcement actions

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Mar 23, 2025 | Child Support

Child support represents the financial contributions a non-custodial parent makes towards their child's upbringing. It ensures a parent meets the child's basic needs, such as food, housing, and education. It also supports a child's wellbeing, especially when parents...

Can you reimburse expenses before child support orders take effect?

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Mar 17, 2025 | Child Support

After a separation, managing child-related expenses can become a challenging task, especially before any official child support orders take effect. Many parents wonder if they can reimburse child expenses during this interim period. Understanding your rights and...

Do mothers have more rights than fathers in custody cases?

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Mar 11, 2025 | Custody & Visitation

When it comes to custody cases, it is a common misconception that mothers have more rights than fathers. This often stems from historical trends and societal assumptions about parenting roles. Whether you are a mother concerned about maintaining your relationship with...

Why should you update your advanced directives during a divorce?

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Feb 28, 2025 | Divorce

Going through a divorce is challenging. One crucial aspect that often gets overlooked is updating your advanced directives. These legal documents play a vital role in ensuring others respect your wishes, even when you cannot speak for yourself. Protecting your...

Can you protect yourself and your children without a divorce?

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Feb 25, 2025 | Domestic Violence

Domestic violence creates a terrifying and dangerous situation. You may feel trapped, believing divorce is your only option for safety. The good news is that California law provides legal alternatives if your moral beliefs prevent you from getting a divorce. Let us...

What can California parents do if their child refuses to visit the other parent?

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Feb 14, 2025 | Child Custody

Dealing with a child who does not want to see their other parent can create stress for everyone involved. California courts expect parents to follow custody orders while being sensitive to their children's feelings. Parents can struggle to balance their legal...

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Recent Posts

  • I’ve been served divorce papers that include false allegations: what do I do?
  • Do domestic partnerships affect divorce rights?
  • Moore / Marsden calculations in California divorce
  • How can you document SP for asset protection?

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