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Leaving your abuser: What you need to know

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Oct 4, 2019 | Domestic Violence |

If you’re in an abusive relationship, you know that the only sure road to safety is to get out and put some distance between yourself and your abuser.

Unfortunately, the mere act of leaving can actually make your situation more dangerous — at least for a while. Here are a few things that every abused individual needs to know about making their way out of the situation.

1. The odds of being assaulted rise when a victim decides to leave

Domestic violence is about having power and control over another human being. When a victim announces that he or she is leaving the abuser, that represents the ultimate loss of that power and control. Some abusers simply can’t handle the prospect, and they lash out with extreme violence. In fact, the United States Justice Department says that the risk of violence is about 500 times higher than at any other time.

For example, a 67-year-old California woman was killed by her 69-year-old husband after she served him divorce papers and stayed behind to talk. He responded to the news that she was finally leaving him by shooting her.

2. It’s smart to keep your abuser at a distance as early as possible

For many domestic violence victims, the safest course of action is to turn to an attorney for assistance. An attorney can help you obtain a temporary protective order that will oblige your abuser to keep away and can arrange for service of the divorce papers in a way that won’t put you in physical contact with your abuser.

3. It’s also smart to have a safety plan in place

If you’re leaving an abusive relationship, it’s wise to anticipate trouble. Some of the ways that you can protect yourself include:

  • Keeping your plans to leave entirely to yourself (and your attorney) until you make your exit.
  • Obtaining a new bank account (at a new bank) and a post office box to which you can have your mail forwarded (so that you are harder to track down).
  • Obtaining a place to stay in a shelter or with friends or relatives that your spouse doesn’t know how to locate.
  • Putting money aside so that you can provide for your immediate needs once you leave.

If you’re ready to leave a bad domestic situation, contact our office directly to see if we can help.

I’ve been served divorce papers that include false allegations: what do I do?

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Jun 6, 2025 | Domestic Violence

Receiving divorce papers is already overwhelming. When false allegations are part of the paperwork, the situation can feel even more difficult. It’s essential to stay calm and know how to address the issue. Here’s what to do if you receive divorce papers containing...

Do domestic partnerships affect divorce rights?

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Apr 14, 2025 | Divorce

Domestic partnerships offer many of the same rights and responsibilities as marriage, but they can complicate the divorce process. If you're ending a domestic partnership, your legal path may differ from that of a traditional divorce, especially in California....

Moore / Marsden calculations in California divorce

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Apr 10, 2025 | Divorce

In California, Moore/Marsden calculations determine how to divide property when one spouse’s separate property has contributed to the acquisition or improvement of community property. These calculations ensure a fair division of property in divorce cases, particularly...

How can you document SP for asset protection?

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Apr 3, 2025 | Family Law

When you're about to get married, it's important to think about how to protect your assets, including spousal support (SP) money. If you've received spousal support in the past or expect it during your marriage, you may worry about documenting its use—especially if...

What to expect during child support enforcement actions

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Mar 23, 2025 | Child Support

Child support represents the financial contributions a non-custodial parent makes towards their child's upbringing. It ensures a parent meets the child's basic needs, such as food, housing, and education. It also supports a child's wellbeing, especially when parents...

Can you reimburse expenses before child support orders take effect?

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Mar 17, 2025 | Child Support

After a separation, managing child-related expenses can become a challenging task, especially before any official child support orders take effect. Many parents wonder if they can reimburse child expenses during this interim period. Understanding your rights and...

Do mothers have more rights than fathers in custody cases?

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Mar 11, 2025 | Custody & Visitation

When it comes to custody cases, it is a common misconception that mothers have more rights than fathers. This often stems from historical trends and societal assumptions about parenting roles. Whether you are a mother concerned about maintaining your relationship with...

Why should you update your advanced directives during a divorce?

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Feb 28, 2025 | Divorce

Going through a divorce is challenging. One crucial aspect that often gets overlooked is updating your advanced directives. These legal documents play a vital role in ensuring others respect your wishes, even when you cannot speak for yourself. Protecting your...

Can you protect yourself and your children without a divorce?

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Feb 25, 2025 | Domestic Violence

Domestic violence creates a terrifying and dangerous situation. You may feel trapped, believing divorce is your only option for safety. The good news is that California law provides legal alternatives if your moral beliefs prevent you from getting a divorce. Let us...

What can California parents do if their child refuses to visit the other parent?

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Feb 14, 2025 | Child Custody

Dealing with a child who does not want to see their other parent can create stress for everyone involved. California courts expect parents to follow custody orders while being sensitive to their children's feelings. Parents can struggle to balance their legal...

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Recent Posts

  • I’ve been served divorce papers that include false allegations: what do I do?
  • Do domestic partnerships affect divorce rights?
  • Moore / Marsden calculations in California divorce
  • How can you document SP for asset protection?

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