The holiday season should be a joyful time for families. For separated or divorced parents, however, it often brings added stress as they navigate custody schedules and special holiday traditions. October is the perfect time to address these issues before tensions rise in November and December.
How California courts view holiday custody arrangements
California family courts prioritize the best interests of the child when determining custody schedules, including holidays. Judges generally expect parents to:
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Follow any existing parenting plan or custody order
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Share holidays in a way that ensures children maintain meaningful time with both parents
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Avoid putting children in the middle of disputes
Common arrangements include alternating holidays each year, splitting a holiday between parents, or assigning specific holidays to each parent based on family traditions. The goal is consistency, fairness, and minimizing conflict for the child.
Creating parenting plans that prioritize children’s well-being
The most effective way to avoid holiday stress is to have a clear, written parenting plan in place. A strong plan should:
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Specify holiday schedules well in advance
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Account for school breaks and travel time
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Respect family traditions on both sides
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Prioritize the child’s comfort and routine
For example, we recently helped a Riverside parent adjust their parenting plan so their children could spend Christmas morning with one parent and Christmas evening with the other. This gave both parents special time while keeping the children at the center of the decision.
If you don’t yet have a detailed holiday schedule in your custody order, now is the time to address it. Learn more about custody arrangements on our child custody page.
Modifying custody orders before the holidays
When an existing custody order does not adequately address holiday schedules, parents can seek a modification. These requests should be made early — ideally before November — to allow the court time to review and issue an updated order.
In California, you may request a modification if there has been a significant change in circumstances or if the current plan no longer serves the child’s best interests. Courts encourage parents to resolve disputes outside the courtroom when possible, but a formal modification may be necessary when agreement cannot be reached.
If you’re considering changes, our custody modification guide provides a more detailed explanation of the process.
Frequently asked questions about holiday custody disputes
What if my ex refuses to follow the holiday schedule?
You may need to seek court enforcement of the order. Document the issue and contact an attorney for guidance.
Can I travel out of state with my child during the holidays?
That depends on your custody order. Many plans require written consent from the other parent or court approval before out-of-state travel.
What if we can’t agree on a holiday schedule?
If negotiations fail, a judge can decide for you. However, working together often leads to a more child-focused solution.
Navigating custody during the holiday season requires planning, flexibility, and a focus on your child’s needs. Addressing potential conflicts now can make the holidays far more enjoyable for everyone.
🔗 Contact Cullen Family Law Group today to schedule your confidential consultation.