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Protecting yourself in a high-conflict divorce

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Aug 1, 2019 | Property Division |

Maybe your spouse is just an angry person — or maybe your spouse is an outright narcissist who can’t function without trying to manipulate you and everyone else around you.

Whatever the root of the issue, you can be sure that you’re in for a bumpy ride once you make the decision to divorce. Angry, narcissistic people don’t take rejection well. They don’t like to acknowledge any failure on their part — so all the fault for the problems in the marriage will be laid at your feet. Their sense of being “wounded” can also be extreme. That makes many of these kinds of spouses feel like they are owed more (far, far more) than their fair share of the marital assets, custody and support.

Take some smart steps to protect yourself as soon as you decide to divorce:

1. Get all your financial documents before you leave

Unless you want to spend countless hours and a ton of money fighting for access to the financial records your spouse is holding, get copies of everything you can before you part ways. Yes, you can eventually get everything — but your spouse will make it as hard as possible on you.

2. Communicate in writing

No matter how trivial the issue, always put it in writing. For example, a text saying, “I am confirming that our son will be available for the custody exchange at noon today,” keeps your spouse from claiming that you never mentioned picking up your child.

3. Keep it public

You’re in danger of being accused of outrageous things — including physical abuse — when you’re dealing with this kind of manipulative, embittered spouse. Make all your interactions public. Have custody exchanges take place at the police station, and take a witness with you anytime you have to go to your home or engage in negotiations with your spouse.

4. Keep your attorney informed

Your divorce attorney’s job is to protect you from as much conflict and trouble as possible. He or she needs to know that your spouse is manipulative and “out for blood” in order to prepare your case. It can be difficult to negotiate normally over the division of marital property or custody with a spouse like that, so give your attorney advance notice.

I’ve been served divorce papers that include false allegations: what do I do?

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Jun 6, 2025 | Domestic Violence

Receiving divorce papers is already overwhelming. When false allegations are part of the paperwork, the situation can feel even more difficult. It’s essential to stay calm and know how to address the issue. Here’s what to do if you receive divorce papers containing...

Do domestic partnerships affect divorce rights?

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Apr 14, 2025 | Divorce

Domestic partnerships offer many of the same rights and responsibilities as marriage, but they can complicate the divorce process. If you're ending a domestic partnership, your legal path may differ from that of a traditional divorce, especially in California....

Moore / Marsden calculations in California divorce

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Apr 10, 2025 | Divorce

In California, Moore/Marsden calculations determine how to divide property when one spouse’s separate property has contributed to the acquisition or improvement of community property. These calculations ensure a fair division of property in divorce cases, particularly...

How can you document SP for asset protection?

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Apr 3, 2025 | Family Law

When you're about to get married, it's important to think about how to protect your assets, including spousal support (SP) money. If you've received spousal support in the past or expect it during your marriage, you may worry about documenting its use—especially if...

What to expect during child support enforcement actions

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Mar 23, 2025 | Child Support

Child support represents the financial contributions a non-custodial parent makes towards their child's upbringing. It ensures a parent meets the child's basic needs, such as food, housing, and education. It also supports a child's wellbeing, especially when parents...

Can you reimburse expenses before child support orders take effect?

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Mar 17, 2025 | Child Support

After a separation, managing child-related expenses can become a challenging task, especially before any official child support orders take effect. Many parents wonder if they can reimburse child expenses during this interim period. Understanding your rights and...

Do mothers have more rights than fathers in custody cases?

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Mar 11, 2025 | Custody & Visitation

When it comes to custody cases, it is a common misconception that mothers have more rights than fathers. This often stems from historical trends and societal assumptions about parenting roles. Whether you are a mother concerned about maintaining your relationship with...

Why should you update your advanced directives during a divorce?

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Feb 28, 2025 | Divorce

Going through a divorce is challenging. One crucial aspect that often gets overlooked is updating your advanced directives. These legal documents play a vital role in ensuring others respect your wishes, even when you cannot speak for yourself. Protecting your...

Can you protect yourself and your children without a divorce?

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Feb 25, 2025 | Domestic Violence

Domestic violence creates a terrifying and dangerous situation. You may feel trapped, believing divorce is your only option for safety. The good news is that California law provides legal alternatives if your moral beliefs prevent you from getting a divorce. Let us...

What can California parents do if their child refuses to visit the other parent?

On Behalf of Cullen Family Law Group | Feb 14, 2025 | Child Custody

Dealing with a child who does not want to see their other parent can create stress for everyone involved. California courts expect parents to follow custody orders while being sensitive to their children's feelings. Parents can struggle to balance their legal...

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Recent Posts

  • I’ve been served divorce papers that include false allegations: what do I do?
  • Do domestic partnerships affect divorce rights?
  • Moore / Marsden calculations in California divorce
  • How can you document SP for asset protection?

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